I went to the job centre today.
I got there, my appointment was all booked in
so I strolled up to the first floor and took a seat,
wrote a bit of poetry in my little book
and waited to be called.
Only sat there for about three minutes until I was called,
so I thought ‘well this is better than last time.”
I sat down,did the usual ‘hello, how are you’ nonsense,
gave her my ID
she explained this would be the ‘assessing’ part of the interview.
she then asked if I had been in employment for the past two years,
to which I replied,
‘no, I’m a student.
‘Oh’, she says,
‘well you’ve claimed for the wrong kind of benefits I’m afraid,
this one is for people who have over 16,000 pounds in savings,
you need to apply for the income based support.’
So I replied,
‘Ok, let me get this right,
there’s no point in me applying for this type of benefit because I’m a student.?’
you need to phone this number and apply for a different benefit.’
So I interrupted,
‘ When I spoke to the person on the phone
they said it wouldn’t be an issue that I’m a student.’
‘Oh it’s not an issue,’ she assured me,
‘it’s just a different type of benefit you need to apply for.’
‘OK’, I said, ‘So what do I need to do?’
‘Phone this number’,
‘Give all your details to them, again,
and then reschedule another appointment and come back in.’
What I really wanted to scream in her face was
“FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BENEFITS!”
But I just said ‘thankyou’ very politely and left.